The last few years have largely been quite solitary, and consciously so. I have chosen to withdraw from the majority of the people around me, and much of what I have written thus far hasContinue reading
I am tired. Little M says he is either “sleepy tired” and sometimes “tired in my bones”. I am tired in my bones. My mind is too full, my eyes are perpetually circled with darkContinue reading
It's a sentence you cannot begin to imagine saying. My child is missing. It's actually a sentence that I have said many times. The first time I had to force myself to say those words,Continue reading
what do you do, to quiet the wringing of your hands? For much of my life I have been an anxious person. Little M, at the grand age of ten, would tell you that IContinue reading
they say that you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. I don't know who "they" is (and more of that later!) but I guess "they" are right. AJ wasn't that longContinue reading
did you ever daydream about what kind of parent you might be, if indeed you ever thought about being a parent at all? I never imagined that I would become a mother. Not that IContinue reading
Eventually, I went to counselling. I felt that it was a sign of failure, but I knew I was reaching the end of my reserves and something needed to give. The first counsellor I sawContinue reading
of course, I did, eventually. Bizarrely, it was not in the middle of a crisis but in a relative period of calm, and I didn't see it coming. The day it happened was horribly public.Continue reading
thus far, all of my posts have been backwards looking, rather than in the moment. I am not even sure if I will publish this post, as it is in the moment, and for obviousContinue reading
A few days after what I have badged in my mind as "The Terrible Awful" we got a call from the Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub. A long conversation ensued where the woman at the otherContinue reading
